Facts vs stories

Before I was a coach, I studied writing.

In writing, there’s a really big difference between facts and the story.

The facts are what actually happened.

The story is how we explain what happened or what we think it means.

Facts are neutral and objective.

Stories are subjective.

Stories are loaded.

When something is bothering you or life feels out of control, it’s not because of the facts.

It’s because of the stories we believe about those facts.

This is especially obvious and relevant right now with Covid-19.

When we sit in our quarantined homes and obsess about all the bad things that *could* happen, it’s not the facts that are creating the terror and anxiety we’re feeling.

It’s the scary stories we’re telling ourselves about what *could* happen, or even the scary stories we tell ourselves about what *is* happening.

And here's the thing, y'all. There's a part of our brains that doesn't know the difference between facts and stories. 

This is why when we watch scary TV, we actually experience a fear response in our bodies. Our heart rates rise. Our palms get sweaty. 

Part of us knows that we're safe on the couch, but another part of us thinks we're in serious, mortal danger. 

And this is also true when we're in our homes in quarantine and our brains keep obsessing about the supply chain and whether our loved ones will die and how long this will all go on.

There's a part of our brain that knows we're safe and ok in our house right now. But there's another part of our brain that doesn't know that these scary stories are just our own imagination.

The facts are that we are sitting in our quarantined home, using our brains to imagine scenarios that terrify us.

And listen, if that terror and anxiety were helping you, that would be one thing.

But for most of us, the terror and the anxiety are not helping.

They’re not leading to creative problem solving.

They’re not leading to us being more of who we want to be or doing what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

The terror and anxiety are burning out all our energy and leaving us feeling stuck, sad, and overwhelmed.

The good news is, we don’t have to spend all our time and energy in terror and anxiety.

When you feel that way, it’s time to return to the facts.

What’s actually happening? Use your five senses and tune into what your actual, bodily experience is right now. 

Who do you want to be in this moment? There's a lot going on that we can't control - the virus, the government, other people who refuse to follow social distancing protocols. But you know what you can control? You. 

Which brings us to the next question. How do you want to show up in this moment? Given everything that you can't control, given what the situation is, who do you want to be and how do you want to show up?

This concept is simple but not easy, which is why I'm doing a whole free masterclass just on facts vs stories. 

If you're feeling anxious and overwhelmed, this class is for you.

If you love my newsletters and want more insight on how to apply them to your own life, this class is for you.

If you're coaching-curious and want to see more of how these concepts can actually help you feel better and get shit done in your real life, this call is definitely for you. 

Join us! It's Thursday April 9th and it's going to be amazing. Details and sign up here.