122. Giving Yourself Permission
What’s missing from your current career?
From your current life?
Is there some big, bold change you’re craving?
A promotion?
A new relationship?
A cozier version of your home space that has you sighing with relief and contentment every time you walk through the door?
Or is the part that’s not working actually too much of something?
Too much work?
Too many meetings?
Too much rushing all the fucking time?
Or do you find yourself daydreaming about something wilder, weirder, more uniquely-you than the typical life change goals you see all over insta?
Maybe you want to create a post-nup with your spouse like one of my clients did.
Maybe you want to build a business that breaks all the so-called rules.
Maybe you’re not actually sure exactly what change you want to create but you know it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before and you need some alone time and a whole lot of self permission to get going on the visioning.
Which brings us to our topic for the week: giving yourself permission.
No matter what your goals are - more of something, less of something, doing things differently - they’re going to require that you give yourself permission to go after them.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to teach you how to do this week.
Because I’m so excited to see what glorious things you create in the world when you give yourself permission to do more, do less, and do things differently than the norm.
If you want to supercharge your capacity to create a life that blows your mind, I have some one-on-one coaching slots opening up soon. Send me an email and let's talk about it or click here to schedule a call with me and we’ll see if we’re a good fit to start working together!
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WHAT YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
How you might need to give yourself permission to define your own narrative for what you want.
Why you aren’t giving yourself permission to have what you want.
How to start considering what would truly delight you.
What happens when you give yourself permission to do things differently than the societal norm.
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE:
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
This week we’re talking about giving yourself permission.
You are listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It, the podcast for ambitious, high-achieving women who are ready to stop feeling stressed about work and kiss burnout goodbye forever. Whether you’re starting a business or staying in your day job, this show will give you the coaching and guidance you need to start loving your work today. Here’s your host, Career Coach, Kori Linn.
Hey, y’all. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Happy Wednesday. I am having a lovely day. It’s sunny here. I was sitting in the window earlier, just feeling the sun through the glass. It’s not so warm that I had the window open. And just like, it’s so delightful. I love this time of year when the days are starting to get longer again and we’re getting more sunshine.
And I realize I live in Sacramento, California. So that’s what we’re having here and y’all might not be having it. I hope that you’re getting some delightful weather wherever you are.
Also, I had a delicious bowl of peanut butter cereal right before recording this, and that just makes me so happy. It’s like such a tiny little thing, but such a treat and reminds me of childhood because I loved peanut butter cereal as a kid, too.
Okay, before we get into today’s topic, I want to tell you all about a client win. So, today we are celebrating one of my clients who is, in general, doing amazing, but also has done a few really cool things lately that I want to tell you about. So this client is 42 years old. They’ve been married for 12 years.
They’ve been with their significant other for 16 years, and they decided that they wanted to have a postnup. So they made one. Now, you may be wondering, what’s a postnup? And a postnup is basically like a prenup, but instead of happening before you get married, it happens after you already are married.
And I think that this is so powerful because I think it’s such a rare thing that someone would realize they want this and then go through kind of the discomfort and the effort of having that conversation with their significant other and ironing out all the details and getting with a lawyer and making it happen. So I think it’s extremely powerful that this client decided that that was something they wanted, and then they made it happen.
So, also in the course of doing this postnup, my client had to take a look at their net worth. And so what they figured out is that they’re actually a multimillionaire, and they didn’t know that. Which you might be like, how would you not know? But a lot of times people are so uncomfortable with finances and money that they won’t actually look at their finances in detail and they don’t actually necessarily have a clear picture of where they are.
And I’m not saying that’s the case for this client in particular. I think it can also be complex and involve more math than people realize off the top of their head to calculate net worth. But I think a lot of people kind of don’t know their numbers. And so doing something like a prenup or a postnup can actually sort of force your hand for you to go look at your numbers.
And so when I was talking to his client about it, they were saying like in the last 10 years, they’ve gone from zero net worth to 3.5 million in net worth. So that’s sort of insane. And I think that’s such a great example for y’all, too, that a lot can change. And a lot can change, actually, in a short time period. And if you have dreams and goals that seem sort of insane to you right now or like how could that ever be possible? They probably are possible.
And it’s probably possible they could happen in the next 10 years. And they could even happen without you really even being aware that they happened until you stop to kind of take account of where you are and take account of all the things you have going on.
I also just love this because I think so many people would be so afraid to have a conversation with their significant other, especially inside of a marriage about setting up a postnup. I think it’s the kind of thing that most people could imagine having a big fight about or like how dare someone ask for that. But really, it’s just an agreement.
And I love that my client overcame discomfort, and overcame inertia, and overcame probably lots of other obstacles, and spent time, and spent money, and spent mental bandwidth to make this a reality for themselves because it’s something that they really wanted. And I think it’s really incredible.
And it kind of bridges into what I want to talk about today, which is giving yourself permission. And specifically giving yourself permission to do more than other people, giving yourself permission to do less than other people, and giving yourself permission to do things differently than other people.
So I think the postnup is a good example of giving yourself permission to do things differently. And giving yourself permission to do something that societally we might have certain narratives around, but you get to define your own narrative instead and have your own reasons for doing the thing.
And then I think a lot of times coaching is a tool that we all use when we’re thinking about doing more. Like having really big, wild, audacious goals and going after really big things like getting a huge raise or switching industries or starting a business, doing something that we’ve never done before. And I think that’s really magical, and I definitely think it’s something we can use coaching to accomplish.
And it’s something I’ve personally used coaching to accomplish a lot of different goals in my life, that would be, I think, under the category of doing more. But I also think it’s really interesting to think about using coaching to do less.
I was on TikTok the other day, because I love TikTok and I’m on there a lot, honestly. And I saw this TikTok where – I don’t remember the account, so I am sorry. And if someone knows, tell me. But it was two women and one of the women was saying, like, oh, I really wanted this year to be the year I break the glass ceiling like da, da, da. And the other woman was like, oh, I really want this to be the year I break the glass floor.
And the other woman was like, what’s the glass floor? And the woman was like, oh, if you want to be a CEO and get into executive level and all that, have at it. But what I actually want to be able to do is just kind of mediocre, like, do my job and not go above and beyond, and just give myself permission to actually perform without over performing.
And she didn’t say it exactly like that. But that’s how I kind of want to think about it in respect to what I want to talk about. And I would say, actually, for some areas of our lives, even giving ourselves permission to underperform or just not perform at all. To just sort of fucking opt out of certain stuff.
And so while I have used coaching to do that thing, that creating more, like I’ve used coaching to create a business that’s now a multiple six-figure business. And while I’ve used coaching to create this really deeply incredible relationship with my significant other, Alex. And while I’ve used coaching to create all kinds of other magical more and more and more things, I’ve also used coaching to create less.
I’ve used coaching to create me working less. I don’t work in my business 40 hours a week, I don’t really want to. And learning how to work less, it doesn’t sound like something you would have to learn, right? You’re like, learning to work less? You just work less.
But for those of us who get sort of addicted to productivity or obsessed with productivity, or for those of us who have struggled with perfectionism, or for those of us who are used to always doing something, or for those of us who think our worthiness depends on how busy we are, it can actually be a challenge to let yourself do less and to learn how to be a person who does less without having a lot of drama about it.
And so what the whole point of this podcast is, is like what would it be like in your life, what would it be like in your career if you gave yourself permission to do more, permission to do less, and permission to do differently? So where in your life are you settling for something that’s not as big, bold, beautiful, like, boom, boom, boom as what you want, because what you have is kind of like what most people have? Or maybe what you have is what society standardly considers to be the good thing, right?
So as an example, I used to work in corporate tech, and I had a really good job. It was a good job. I had a 401k, I had great coworkers, I had a good work/life balance. It was good. It was really good. And I think there is sort of this societal story of like, I had the thing that people want. I had the good thing. And I gave myself permission to dream bigger and to want something bigger, better, bolder, more boom, boom, boom, more like ooh than what was societally sold to me as good enough, right?
And that may be the case for you. Maybe you have something in your life that everyone is like, “Oh, that’s amazing.” And you’re just like, “I mean, yes, it is. But it’s not actually what I want.” Or maybe you’re like, “No, I hate it,” right? I don’t know what’s happening inside your head. But maybe there’s an area in your life where you want to dream bigger, you want to go after something bigger.
Maybe you want to make more money. Maybe you want to have a bigger friend group. It doesn’t just have to be money and finances and career. It could be like, I don’t know, maybe you want to travel the world for two years blogging. I don’t know what bigger, bolder, more boom, boom, boom means for you.
But I bet there’s at least one area of your life where you want something bigger than what society sort of teaches us we’re allowed to have, and you struggle with that and you go back and forth about whether you’re going to go after it and whether it’s worth it to go after it. And what if you fail? How fucking humiliating will that be? And no one will understand if you walk away from this thing that’s really, really good, blah, blah, blah.
And, again, that’s the kind of thing we talk about and coaching a lot. But I also wonder, where in your life are you doing something and actually what you want is less? Do you want to work less? Maybe you want to make less money because you want to have more time or because you’ve actually just realized maybe money is not the thing you want right now.
Not that we always have to make less money when we work less time. I actually make more money and work less time. But I’m just saying, money, I think, is sort of this thing that we societally are just always, like, oh, more is better. But that doesn’t have to be the case for you. That could be your boom, boom, big thing, and you want way more money than anyone you know can even conceive of, that’s possible. But it could be something else.
It could be time. It could be that you want to make way more ceramics. You want to be making pottery all the time and you want to make a very large amount of pottery, I don’t know. It could be anything, right? So like, oh, actually, here’s another good example. By the way, that’s another more one. I was like, maybe you want to have a much better relationship than what you see is the typical good relationship. But then I was like, oh, no, that’s still in the more, more, more, big, big, bold, beautiful boom, boom, boom category.
So even my brain, you can see right now, is going back to the like, what’s the extra delicious thing. So yeah, so what do you want less of? Maybe you want to do less overachieving at your job. Maybe you just want to do enough to be good enough. Maybe it would really delight you to learn to be like, doing C work at work and not making everything this perfectionist thing where you have to get like 105% out of 100.
Maybe you want to do less around the house. Maybe you’re tired of your house being beautiful and perfectly put together all the time because that’s not what you want to donate your time to. And so maybe you are like, oh, it would be actually great to just clean half as often. Maybe there’s someone in your life you see a lot of right now that you’d actually like to see less of, or not at all.
And so where do you want to give yourself permission to go for more? Where do you want to give yourself permission to go for less? What activities do you just want to delete, delete, delete from your life? And what if you gave yourself permission to do that? Because so many of us keep ourselves doing so many things because we’re trying to super overachieve in every category, in every way, all the time. And I’m like, why? Why, why, why? Why are we doing that?
And usually it’s because we think we have to do that to be good. We have to do that to be okay. We have to do that to be worthy. And so I kind of just want to introduce you to the idea that like, what if you don’t? What if you’re allowed to give yourself permission to do less in some areas? I mean, fuck, even in all areas if you want to. You’re in charge. You’re the boss, right?
And then where do you want to give yourself permission to do different, right? To do things differently. You know, we’ve had other podcasts about living according to your own design, and I think that’s part of what this is about here. But it’s also like, oh, people do prenups. I, myself, didn’t even know you could do a postnup until the client told me about it. But then I was like, oh, yeah.
So that would be an example of doing differently. Or you’re like, oh, everyone’s getting coaching on their career, getting coaching on their business. Maybe you want to get coaching on all those ceramics we just mentioned that maybe you want to make. Or maybe you want to get coaching on some other area that everyone else would just be like, “What? What?” Right?
And with this category it’s so interesting because I almost can’t even come up with examples because my examples are already so informed by culture. So what would doing it differently mean for you? Oh, here’s an example, I’ve been thinking lately about do I want to start making my own clothes? Because when I was younger I loved shopping and I never felt like I actually had the money to go shopping.
Now I have the money to go shopping and I don’t feel like I really find what I’m looking for. And I have kind of a strong vision in my head. So would maybe be doing it differently for me look like going to a sewing class instead of going to a store? Or what other ways could it look like? Or maybe, I don’t know, like I go to the secondhand store and I’m finding stuff that I can tailor or get tailored by somebody else. What other ways of doing things that everyone else isn’t doing, what other ways are available?
Maybe I have to invent some of the ways, right? Sometimes you want to do things differently and there’s nothing there. It’s like going down a hallway and there’s no door opening. And maybe you’re the one who builds the door opening and then maybe 20, 30 years from now a bunch of people do that thing because you invented doing that thing and none of us even knew about it until you had it.
So that one, I think, like I said, it’s a little harder to visualize because I don’t know what would go there because by definition it’s doing something that other people aren’t necessarily doing or isn’t common, right? It’s not like no one was doing a postnup, it’s just not the most common thing.
So I just want you to think it through. Like for your career, for your relationships, for your health, for your friendships, for your spirituality. For any little topic of life where you’re not 100% satisfied, what do you want to give yourself permission to do bigger, bolder, boom, boom, boom? What do you want to give yourself permission to do less of, to just ignore, to delete entirely?
And what do you want to give yourself permission to do differently? And what even does that mean? And what ideas are there if you really let go of the ways you’ve been taught to do things and the ways you’ve been taught that the world works. I’m so excited to see what your beautiful brains come up with when you give yourself this kind of permission to do more, do less and do differently, both in what you’ve been taught and also then what you see in culture.
I think you’re going to have really brilliant and interesting ideas. And I would just love to invite you to bring them into the world because I think a lot of people could really have a better experience of their lives, have a more delicious experience, have a more satisfying experience if they gave themselves this kind of permission. And the more you give yourself permission, the more other people are going to see what you’re doing and be like, “that looks interesting, maybe I’ll try that.” It’s like, the more any of us give ourselves permission, the more we all get permission.
So I’m going to give myself permission and I’m going to do it every day because the way the brain works, we forget we have permission. We go back to our old way of doing things, we go back to how do other people do it or what’s the acceptable way? So we’ve got to keep giving ourselves the permission all the time.
But I’m going to give it to myself, and I want to invite you to give it to yourself in small ways, and big ways and ways that make total sense, and ways that make no sense, in weird ways, in new and surprising ways and see what magic happens. See what little and big changes you make in your life that make it more delicious for you and that help you get more of that delicious, delicious, yummy, satisfied feeling that we’re all about around these parts.
All right, that’s what I have for you. And if you want a guide to walk you through this exact kind of work, and if you don’t want to go it alone, because dealing with your own brain can be fucking scary, and weird, and hard to make any headway with, you don’t have to. And I want to invite you to hop on a consult call with me and we can talk about working together one on one because I currently have a few spaces for some very lucky new one on one clients.
And everything we talk about week over week on the podcast is exactly the kind of stuff we’ll work on in coaching together. But it’ll all be focused on you, on your delicious satisfying life, on the changes you want to make, on the places you want to give yourself permission to do more, on the places you want to give yourself permission to do less, on the places where you want someone else to brainstorm with you about how you even could do it differently.
I know firsthand how hard it can be to self-coach and to work on your brain by yourself all alone, and I just don’t want you to think that that’s the only way to do it. I think it’s so much more fun to do this work with a coach. I think it goes a lot faster. And I think you get really spectacular results because coaches can see your blind spots in ways that you just can’t.
And so scoot on over to my website and find the link for the consult call and let’s have a conversation about it.
All right, that’s what I have for you. Thanks so much. Bye Bye.
Thank you for listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It. We’ll have another episode for you next week. And in the meantime, if you’re feeling super fired up, head on over to korilinn.com for more guidance and resources.
You are listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It, the podcast for ambitious, high-achieving women who are ready to stop feeling stressed about work and kiss burnout goodbye forever. Whether you’re starting a business or staying in your day job, this show will give you the coaching and guidance you need to start loving your work today. Here’s your host, Career Coach, Kori Linn.
Hey, y’all. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Happy Wednesday. I am having a lovely day. It’s sunny here. I was sitting in the window earlier, just feeling the sun through the glass. It’s not so warm that I had the window open. And just like, it’s so delightful. I love this time of year when the days are starting to get longer again and we’re getting more sunshine.
And I realize I live in Sacramento, California. So that’s what we’re having here and y’all might not be having it. I hope that you’re getting some delightful weather wherever you are.
Also, I had a delicious bowl of peanut butter cereal right before recording this, and that just makes me so happy. It’s like such a tiny little thing, but such a treat and reminds me of childhood because I loved peanut butter cereal as a kid, too.
Okay, before we get into today’s topic, I want to tell you all about a client win. So, today we are celebrating one of my clients who is, in general, doing amazing, but also has done a few really cool things lately that I want to tell you about. So this client is 42 years old. They’ve been married for 12 years.
They’ve been with their significant other for 16 years, and they decided that they wanted to have a postnup. So they made one. Now, you may be wondering, what’s a postnup? And a postnup is basically like a prenup, but instead of happening before you get married, it happens after you already are married.
And I think that this is so powerful because I think it’s such a rare thing that someone would realize they want this and then go through kind of the discomfort and the effort of having that conversation with their significant other and ironing out all the details and getting with a lawyer and making it happen. So I think it’s extremely powerful that this client decided that that was something they wanted, and then they made it happen.
So, also in the course of doing this postnup, my client had to take a look at their net worth. And so what they figured out is that they’re actually a multimillionaire, and they didn’t know that. Which you might be like, how would you not know? But a lot of times people are so uncomfortable with finances and money that they won’t actually look at their finances in detail and they don’t actually necessarily have a clear picture of where they are.
And I’m not saying that’s the case for this client in particular. I think it can also be complex and involve more math than people realize off the top of their head to calculate net worth. But I think a lot of people kind of don’t know their numbers. And so doing something like a prenup or a postnup can actually sort of force your hand for you to go look at your numbers.
And so when I was talking to his client about it, they were saying like in the last 10 years, they’ve gone from zero net worth to 3.5 million in net worth. So that’s sort of insane. And I think that’s such a great example for y’all, too, that a lot can change. And a lot can change, actually, in a short time period. And if you have dreams and goals that seem sort of insane to you right now or like how could that ever be possible? They probably are possible.
And it’s probably possible they could happen in the next 10 years. And they could even happen without you really even being aware that they happened until you stop to kind of take account of where you are and take account of all the things you have going on.
I also just love this because I think so many people would be so afraid to have a conversation with their significant other, especially inside of a marriage about setting up a postnup. I think it’s the kind of thing that most people could imagine having a big fight about or like how dare someone ask for that. But really, it’s just an agreement.
And I love that my client overcame discomfort, and overcame inertia, and overcame probably lots of other obstacles, and spent time, and spent money, and spent mental bandwidth to make this a reality for themselves because it’s something that they really wanted. And I think it’s really incredible.
And it kind of bridges into what I want to talk about today, which is giving yourself permission. And specifically giving yourself permission to do more than other people, giving yourself permission to do less than other people, and giving yourself permission to do things differently than other people.
So I think the postnup is a good example of giving yourself permission to do things differently. And giving yourself permission to do something that societally we might have certain narratives around, but you get to define your own narrative instead and have your own reasons for doing the thing.
And then I think a lot of times coaching is a tool that we all use when we’re thinking about doing more. Like having really big, wild, audacious goals and going after really big things like getting a huge raise or switching industries or starting a business, doing something that we’ve never done before. And I think that’s really magical, and I definitely think it’s something we can use coaching to accomplish.
And it’s something I’ve personally used coaching to accomplish a lot of different goals in my life, that would be, I think, under the category of doing more. But I also think it’s really interesting to think about using coaching to do less.
I was on TikTok the other day, because I love TikTok and I’m on there a lot, honestly. And I saw this TikTok where – I don’t remember the account, so I am sorry. And if someone knows, tell me. But it was two women and one of the women was saying, like, oh, I really wanted this year to be the year I break the glass ceiling like da, da, da. And the other woman was like, oh, I really want this to be the year I break the glass floor.
And the other woman was like, what’s the glass floor? And the woman was like, oh, if you want to be a CEO and get into executive level and all that, have at it. But what I actually want to be able to do is just kind of mediocre, like, do my job and not go above and beyond, and just give myself permission to actually perform without over performing.
And she didn’t say it exactly like that. But that’s how I kind of want to think about it in respect to what I want to talk about. And I would say, actually, for some areas of our lives, even giving ourselves permission to underperform or just not perform at all. To just sort of fucking opt out of certain stuff.
And so while I have used coaching to do that thing, that creating more, like I’ve used coaching to create a business that’s now a multiple six-figure business. And while I’ve used coaching to create this really deeply incredible relationship with my significant other, Alex. And while I’ve used coaching to create all kinds of other magical more and more and more things, I’ve also used coaching to create less.
I’ve used coaching to create me working less. I don’t work in my business 40 hours a week, I don’t really want to. And learning how to work less, it doesn’t sound like something you would have to learn, right? You’re like, learning to work less? You just work less.
But for those of us who get sort of addicted to productivity or obsessed with productivity, or for those of us who have struggled with perfectionism, or for those of us who are used to always doing something, or for those of us who think our worthiness depends on how busy we are, it can actually be a challenge to let yourself do less and to learn how to be a person who does less without having a lot of drama about it.
And so what the whole point of this podcast is, is like what would it be like in your life, what would it be like in your career if you gave yourself permission to do more, permission to do less, and permission to do differently? So where in your life are you settling for something that’s not as big, bold, beautiful, like, boom, boom, boom as what you want, because what you have is kind of like what most people have? Or maybe what you have is what society standardly considers to be the good thing, right?
So as an example, I used to work in corporate tech, and I had a really good job. It was a good job. I had a 401k, I had great coworkers, I had a good work/life balance. It was good. It was really good. And I think there is sort of this societal story of like, I had the thing that people want. I had the good thing. And I gave myself permission to dream bigger and to want something bigger, better, bolder, more boom, boom, boom, more like ooh than what was societally sold to me as good enough, right?
And that may be the case for you. Maybe you have something in your life that everyone is like, “Oh, that’s amazing.” And you’re just like, “I mean, yes, it is. But it’s not actually what I want.” Or maybe you’re like, “No, I hate it,” right? I don’t know what’s happening inside your head. But maybe there’s an area in your life where you want to dream bigger, you want to go after something bigger.
Maybe you want to make more money. Maybe you want to have a bigger friend group. It doesn’t just have to be money and finances and career. It could be like, I don’t know, maybe you want to travel the world for two years blogging. I don’t know what bigger, bolder, more boom, boom, boom means for you.
But I bet there’s at least one area of your life where you want something bigger than what society sort of teaches us we’re allowed to have, and you struggle with that and you go back and forth about whether you’re going to go after it and whether it’s worth it to go after it. And what if you fail? How fucking humiliating will that be? And no one will understand if you walk away from this thing that’s really, really good, blah, blah, blah.
And, again, that’s the kind of thing we talk about and coaching a lot. But I also wonder, where in your life are you doing something and actually what you want is less? Do you want to work less? Maybe you want to make less money because you want to have more time or because you’ve actually just realized maybe money is not the thing you want right now.
Not that we always have to make less money when we work less time. I actually make more money and work less time. But I’m just saying, money, I think, is sort of this thing that we societally are just always, like, oh, more is better. But that doesn’t have to be the case for you. That could be your boom, boom, big thing, and you want way more money than anyone you know can even conceive of, that’s possible. But it could be something else.
It could be time. It could be that you want to make way more ceramics. You want to be making pottery all the time and you want to make a very large amount of pottery, I don’t know. It could be anything, right? So like, oh, actually, here’s another good example. By the way, that’s another more one. I was like, maybe you want to have a much better relationship than what you see is the typical good relationship. But then I was like, oh, no, that’s still in the more, more, more, big, big, bold, beautiful boom, boom, boom category.
So even my brain, you can see right now, is going back to the like, what’s the extra delicious thing. So yeah, so what do you want less of? Maybe you want to do less overachieving at your job. Maybe you just want to do enough to be good enough. Maybe it would really delight you to learn to be like, doing C work at work and not making everything this perfectionist thing where you have to get like 105% out of 100.
Maybe you want to do less around the house. Maybe you’re tired of your house being beautiful and perfectly put together all the time because that’s not what you want to donate your time to. And so maybe you are like, oh, it would be actually great to just clean half as often. Maybe there’s someone in your life you see a lot of right now that you’d actually like to see less of, or not at all.
And so where do you want to give yourself permission to go for more? Where do you want to give yourself permission to go for less? What activities do you just want to delete, delete, delete from your life? And what if you gave yourself permission to do that? Because so many of us keep ourselves doing so many things because we’re trying to super overachieve in every category, in every way, all the time. And I’m like, why? Why, why, why? Why are we doing that?
And usually it’s because we think we have to do that to be good. We have to do that to be okay. We have to do that to be worthy. And so I kind of just want to introduce you to the idea that like, what if you don’t? What if you’re allowed to give yourself permission to do less in some areas? I mean, fuck, even in all areas if you want to. You’re in charge. You’re the boss, right?
And then where do you want to give yourself permission to do different, right? To do things differently. You know, we’ve had other podcasts about living according to your own design, and I think that’s part of what this is about here. But it’s also like, oh, people do prenups. I, myself, didn’t even know you could do a postnup until the client told me about it. But then I was like, oh, yeah.
So that would be an example of doing differently. Or you’re like, oh, everyone’s getting coaching on their career, getting coaching on their business. Maybe you want to get coaching on all those ceramics we just mentioned that maybe you want to make. Or maybe you want to get coaching on some other area that everyone else would just be like, “What? What?” Right?
And with this category it’s so interesting because I almost can’t even come up with examples because my examples are already so informed by culture. So what would doing it differently mean for you? Oh, here’s an example, I’ve been thinking lately about do I want to start making my own clothes? Because when I was younger I loved shopping and I never felt like I actually had the money to go shopping.
Now I have the money to go shopping and I don’t feel like I really find what I’m looking for. And I have kind of a strong vision in my head. So would maybe be doing it differently for me look like going to a sewing class instead of going to a store? Or what other ways could it look like? Or maybe, I don’t know, like I go to the secondhand store and I’m finding stuff that I can tailor or get tailored by somebody else. What other ways of doing things that everyone else isn’t doing, what other ways are available?
Maybe I have to invent some of the ways, right? Sometimes you want to do things differently and there’s nothing there. It’s like going down a hallway and there’s no door opening. And maybe you’re the one who builds the door opening and then maybe 20, 30 years from now a bunch of people do that thing because you invented doing that thing and none of us even knew about it until you had it.
So that one, I think, like I said, it’s a little harder to visualize because I don’t know what would go there because by definition it’s doing something that other people aren’t necessarily doing or isn’t common, right? It’s not like no one was doing a postnup, it’s just not the most common thing.
So I just want you to think it through. Like for your career, for your relationships, for your health, for your friendships, for your spirituality. For any little topic of life where you’re not 100% satisfied, what do you want to give yourself permission to do bigger, bolder, boom, boom, boom? What do you want to give yourself permission to do less of, to just ignore, to delete entirely?
And what do you want to give yourself permission to do differently? And what even does that mean? And what ideas are there if you really let go of the ways you’ve been taught to do things and the ways you’ve been taught that the world works. I’m so excited to see what your beautiful brains come up with when you give yourself this kind of permission to do more, do less and do differently, both in what you’ve been taught and also then what you see in culture.
I think you’re going to have really brilliant and interesting ideas. And I would just love to invite you to bring them into the world because I think a lot of people could really have a better experience of their lives, have a more delicious experience, have a more satisfying experience if they gave themselves this kind of permission. And the more you give yourself permission, the more other people are going to see what you’re doing and be like, “that looks interesting, maybe I’ll try that.” It’s like, the more any of us give ourselves permission, the more we all get permission.
So I’m going to give myself permission and I’m going to do it every day because the way the brain works, we forget we have permission. We go back to our old way of doing things, we go back to how do other people do it or what’s the acceptable way? So we’ve got to keep giving ourselves the permission all the time.
But I’m going to give it to myself, and I want to invite you to give it to yourself in small ways, and big ways and ways that make total sense, and ways that make no sense, in weird ways, in new and surprising ways and see what magic happens. See what little and big changes you make in your life that make it more delicious for you and that help you get more of that delicious, delicious, yummy, satisfied feeling that we’re all about around these parts.
All right, that’s what I have for you. And if you want a guide to walk you through this exact kind of work, and if you don’t want to go it alone, because dealing with your own brain can be fucking scary, and weird, and hard to make any headway with, you don’t have to. And I want to invite you to hop on a consult call with me and we can talk about working together one on one because I currently have a few spaces for some very lucky new one on one clients.
And everything we talk about week over week on the podcast is exactly the kind of stuff we’ll work on in coaching together. But it’ll all be focused on you, on your delicious satisfying life, on the changes you want to make, on the places you want to give yourself permission to do more, on the places you want to give yourself permission to do less, on the places where you want someone else to brainstorm with you about how you even could do it differently.
I know firsthand how hard it can be to self-coach and to work on your brain by yourself all alone, and I just don’t want you to think that that’s the only way to do it. I think it’s so much more fun to do this work with a coach. I think it goes a lot faster. And I think you get really spectacular results because coaches can see your blind spots in ways that you just can’t.
And so scoot on over to my website and find the link for the consult call and let’s have a conversation about it.
All right, that’s what I have for you. Thanks so much. Bye Bye.
Thank you for listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It. We’ll have another episode for you next week. And in the meantime, if you’re feeling super fired up, head on over to korilinn.com for more guidance and resources.
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