104. You’re Not Dead Yet
So many of my clients want things to be different in their lives but don’t make changes because it seems, to them, like it’s too late to do so.
You might be experiencing this, too.
Maybe you want to switch industries or start a new hobby or fall in love for the first time.
Whatever it is, I want you to know this: it’s not too late.
You still have time to build your life and career the way you want them to be.
But it may feel weird to try.
Because part of your socialization says that you should have already done all these things.
Like, once you’re an adult, it’s too late to try.
But that’s not true.
You’re probably going to spend a lot of your life as an adult, and there’s still so much time to do new things and make changes.
There’s still time. Because you’re not dead yet.
Unless you’re a fun little ghost friend listening to this podcast.
So how do you want to spend the time you do have?
Whatever changes you want to make in your life, it’s not too late. You don’t have to stay in the same job, company, industry, relationship, house, or anything else.
You can change things. Big things. Small things. Anything in between.
As long as you’re alive and you have breath in your lungs, you have freedom and choice.
You know this. But right now it’s probably an intellectual, yes of course, kind of knowing.
What would it be like to know this and actually do something about it?
It might feel weird or uncomfortable, but it’s totally possible.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Join me this week to learn all about how to live your life with full choice and possibility instead of staying stuck in the ways things have always been.
If you want to supercharge your capacity to create a life that blows your mind, I have some one-on-one coaching slots opening up soon. Send me an email and let's talk about it or click here to schedule a call with me and we’ll see if we’re a good fit to start working together!
If there are topics y’all want me to talk about on the podcast, feel free to write in and let me know by clicking here! I’d love to hear from you!
Satisfied AF is officially open for enrollment! Click here to get on a consult call and talk about what it would be like for you to be Satisfied AF in your life and career.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
Why so many people truly believe it’s too late to make big changes in their lives.
How to see that it is possible to make changes, no matter how old you are or how long you expect to live.
Some of the vulnerable things I’ve tried lately, and how to find the things you would try if you knew it was possible.
Why just because you can make changes, doesn’t mean it will be easy and comfortable all the time.
How to decide on what you want, from the full spectrum of possibility that is available to you.
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE:
FEATURED ON THE SHOW:
If you’re enjoying the show, please leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts!
Feel free to ask me any questions over on Instagram!
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
This week we’re talking about how much of your life you have left and what you want to do with it.
You are listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It, the podcast for ambitious, high-achieving women who are ready to stop feeling stressed about work and kiss burnout goodbye forever. Whether you’re starting a business or staying in your day job, this show will give you the coaching and guidance you need to start loving your work today. Here’s your host, Career Coach, Kori Linn.
Hello, hello, hello. Happy Wednesday, I’m so excited to talk to y’all. I just got off my weekly Satisfied As Fuck group coaching call and it was such a delight. I love talking to my SAFers, as I call them in my head, and coaching them, and honestly like learning. Every time I have a call with them I learn so much, and I come up with so many new and interesting ideas, many of which will become podcasts.
Also something else that has been happening in SAF that I wanted to share with y’all is I’m really into celebration. You may have noticed from listening to some of my other podcasts that that’s something that I’m really excited about, and that I think has a lot of very real and tangible benefits for your life.
So I’m always encouraging my clients in that group to celebrate, to share their wins, to share their delights. And one of my clients started posting like little videos of them doing celebratory dances. And even as I’m telling you about it I’m like over here doing a little celebratory dance. And it’s just so fun.
And I just wanted to mention that to you all because you can do that too. You can start sending little celebratory dances of yourself to your friends. You can start like a little podcast club with some other Love Your Job Before You Leave it listeners and send each other little celebratory dancing wiggles. I call them celebratory wiggles personally, but they’re like little dances, they’re like little videos.
It’s just such a fun thing to do and I get this question all the time of like what even is celebrating? How do we even celebrate? And there are lots of ways to do it and there are whole podcasts about that. But I love the idea of it being a wiggle. And even some of the other clients now in SAF are like, “I will now post my celebratory wiggle.” Or they like do their own celebratory dance while they’re watching the other client’s video of their celebratory dance.
So just something fun I wanted to share with y’all. I think so many of us are spending so much of our life like just trying to get shit done, heads down and like achieve our goals and not enough time having celebratory wiggles. And so if you get nothing else from today, like maybe get a little joyful wiggle for yourself and your life and your body.
All right, but that’s now what we’re talking about today. What we’re talking about today is the fact that you are not dead yet. Unless you’re like a fun little ghost friend listening to this podcast, you are very much alive, and you have life left in front of you. And I thought it was like kind of a fun time to talk about this because it's October, it's spooky season, it's almost Halloween. But this is actually a concept I think about a lot.
So many of my clients come to me and they're like, well, I wanted my life to be like this, but it's not and it's too late. It's really interesting, it's like a very common theme, this idea of it's too late. And I think part of that is because some of us have scripts that we've picked up from the culture about like the milestones we're supposed to achieve in life and by what ages.
But I also think there's this other thing where just like, I don't know, people in our culture, adults, are like, “Oh, I'm an adult now so it's too late to make big changes, it's too late to try new things, it's too late to learn new stuff.” It's too late to, you know, literally fill in the blank with anything here. But here's the thing, y'all, it's not too late. You have life left to live, you have time left.
Average life expectancy is quite long for most of us. And I realize that doesn't mean all of us are going to make it to that. Some people will die younger than life expectancy and some of us will live way past life expectancy. But probably you have at least some time left, and how do you want to spend that time?
What do you want to do with it? Because I read this thing once, I think it was in The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, where she said like, you're going to age either way. The thing was like, do you know how long it’ll take me to like, fill in the blank, it was like learn the piano. And her answer was like you're going to spend that time anyways, it's not like you can like bank that time that you would spend learning the piano.
You're going to be spending it anyways, you're going to be spending it living. So why not just do the thing you want to do? And this is like kind of a simple concept, so it's probably not going to be a super long podcast, except for you know me, I may get distracted and tell like 16 rambling stories and it may be a long podcast after all. But it's such an important concept.
Honestly, and I probably say this every week, but if you took nothing else away from this podcast, you could still absolutely change your life in every way just by realizing that it's not too late to make the changes you want to make and you're not dead yet. Like it's not done, it's not over, it's not too late, you have so much time.
I'm 38, I don't know how old you are. So I looked it up and this says the average life expectancy for the US in 2022 is 79.05 years. Okay, so let's just say 80. And that's going to be different based on your country, based on whatever, based on like your health history, blah, blah, blah. But let's just say you're going to live to 80. That's so many more years, right?
Even if you're much older than I am. Let's even say you were 80 and life expectancy is 80, but you're not dead yet. So what do you want to do with the time you have? And I think the subtext here is you don't have to keep doing the same stuff you've been doing.
You don't have to stay in the same job. You don't have to stay in the same field or industry. You don't have to stay in the same company. You don't have to stay in the same relationships. You don't have to stay in the same house. You don't have to eat the same thing for breakfast that you've eaten for breakfast, even if you've eaten it for breakfast your whole life.
You can change. You can be different. As long as you are alive and there is like breath in your lungs, you have freedom, and you have choice. And so I think this is interesting because I think for most people, like they know this. It's not rocket science, right? You're like, “Duh, I'm not dead yet, I can change.”
But I think most people don't actually believe that they can change. Either they don't want to put forth the energy, or they think their habits are too strong, or they think other people can change but that they can't change. I am here to tell you, you can change. It doesn't mean it'll be easy.
And if you'd rather not put forth the effort, listen, I think that's fine. But just be honest with yourself about that. Don't tell yourself it's too late, just tell yourself that's not what you want to do with the time that you have. Because you have time and you're going to do something with it. So it doesn't have to be that, but just be honest with yourself.
I think so many people are sitting around spending so much of their life that they do have saying, I wish I could be blah, blah, blah, or I wish I had done blah, blah, blah in the past. Listen, we can't change the past, not that I know of yet. Maybe science will advance so much that we can do that one day, but for right now you can't change the past, it's done.
You can't change what you did, or the habits you set up, or mistakes you made. But you have this moment, and you have a lot of other moments probably after this moment. And even if you don't have that many moments, any moments is enough moments to be different.
Actually, if you have less time, maybe it's easier to change because you don't have to keep it up for as long. That's sort of a joke, but it's also sort of not, right? I do agree that setting up a sustainable long-term change kind of takes a lot more effort because we have to build new habits and set them up and like get them running. But if we don't have that much time, sometimes it's actually easier to just be like, all right, I'm going to scrap all that and I'm going to do this new thing.
So actually, even if you have a lot of time but it's easier for you to think like, “Okay, well, if I only had six months to live, how would I live?” You can also do it that way. That's kind of a cool thought experiment to think through. And if you literally only have six months to live, you can still spend those six months being someone different than you've been for the last however many years you've been alive.
You always have choice, you always have the opportunity to do something different and to choose anew. You don't have to keep choosing all the same shit you've always been choosing. You're not dead yet. Now, unless we're really mistaken or science changes pretty extraordinarily, you probably will be dead one day. Like that seems like a pretty safe bet where we're all going to die.
I know it's not like a super fun thing to talk about and I'm just like, “We're all going to die.” But we are, and so I think that's something important to keep in mind too. We're all going to die, but you're not dead yet. What do you want to do with the time that you have here? What changes do you want to make if you were willing to believe it was possible to make them?
And listen, maybe it's not possible to make all of the changes that you want to make because it is limited, right? We can't always do everything. Even if there are many things we would like to do, sometimes we have to prioritize and we have to pick a few because we have limited capacity or limited hours or whatever.
So it's possible you want to change like all kinds of stuff and maybe you don't have time to do it all. But you're not dead yet, so you can change some stuff and you can set up your life the way you want it to be. And you can do the work you want to do, build the friendships you want to have, learn the skills you want to learn, start the hobbies you want to start.
You can try new things, even if it's scary. And listen if it is scary, I get it. I wanted to take singing lessons and so I took a singing lesson this summer. And that may not sound scary, and it was over Zoom so I didn't even have to go anywhere, I could do it right from my office. But it felt really vulnerable to sing in front of this person who is like really good at music because like that's like their whole job.
I felt so embarrassed, like I literally almost burst into tears. It reminded me so much of being a little kid, being in like elementary school. So I'm not at all trying to tell you like, “Oh, you're not dead yet. And you can do whatever you want. And it'll all feel easy, and you'll never feel like emotionally raw.”
For sure you probably will feel emotionally raw, whether you do a bunch of new interesting shit, or whether you keep doing all the shit you've been doing. Feeling emotionally raw is part of being human. And it's not my favorite, but I would actually argue that it can be a really beautiful part of the human existence.
And when I did that singing lesson, it was an interesting way to get to know myself. And I was like, “You know what, Kori, if you want to keep doing singing lessons, you can keep doing them and we'll pay for them.” I kind of treat myself like I am my own child. So that's how I talk to myself. Like, “We'll do this, we'll pay for it if you want to.”
And I was like, you know what, this felt really emotionally raw and vulnerable, and it was interesting. And I'm glad I followed the impulse and did it. And also, I don't think it's how I want to spend my time or my money. But I'm also no longer sitting around over here going like, “What if I took singing lessons?”
I'm like, “Well, I did do that. And it was interesting, and I don't want to do it anymore because I think I'd rather do some other stuff.” And I'm not even 100% sure what that other stuff is. But I can figure that out and I can try stuff. And it's okay if I'm bored sometimes. And it's okay if I'm a little sad that I'm not naturally a better singer than I am. It's all okay.
I don't own any real estate, but my girlfriend is really into real estate. And she owns the house that we live in here in Sacramento, and she owns another property, and she owned the house we lived in in Seattle. And she is like really knowledgeable in the area of real estate.
And there's this phrase in the real estate industry, which is like the best time to buy a house was 20 years ago. But the second best time to buy a house is right now, I don't know who came up with that phrase. I Googled it and it seems to be a common quote. So if you know who said it first, you can let me know. But I think it's pretty much just like a common thing that people say.
And I think the same is applicable for a lot of the stuff that we might want to do but we might not be doing, but since we're not dead yet we could totally start doing. And it's like, yeah, it might be true that you wish you had learned to play guitar 20 years ago. It might be true that you wish you had changed careers 20 years ago. It might be true that, just like the little phrase, you wish you had bought real estate 20 years ago.
It might be true that you wish you learned to roller skate when you were a kid and sort of like elastic and bouncy. I roller bladed in the last few years, and it felt much harder than it did when I was a kid, for sure. That being said, I could still keep doing it if I wanted to. And even though I don't bounce, I probably didn't actually bounce as a small child. And probably falling down then hurt just as much as it does now, and I just remember it differently.
Anyways, the point is, it may be true that you'd be better at something if you had started 20 years ago. But if you didn't start 20 years ago, kind of like focusing on that is not going to help you get to starting it now, right? And if the best time to start was 20 years ago, just like the other phrase, the second best time is now.
And also the only time you can start is either now or in the future. So if you want to have already started and be good at something but you haven't started it, like you got to start it to get that process going.
I think for a lot of us, kind of like me and that singing lesson, it can feel really vulnerable to start something. And if we're like, you know, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, right, and even if we're 28, starting something new may feel really vulnerable because I do think we have sort of cultural messaging that trying new shit is for kids and when you're an adult you're supposed to have it all together.
But I just think that's bullshit. And I think it takes most of us so long to get to know ourselves and figure out what we even like that of course we're trying new shit in our adulthood. Also, we have to unlearn all the socialization, all that bullshit. So of course we have to do that and then we're going to be maybe a little older before we try stuff.
Also, we're just not dead yet, right? Like to go back to my original point. So why should we be done learning? Why should we be done playing? Why should we be done trying new things? You have so much life left to live, why not live it? Seriously, why not go out and live it? Or stay in and live it if you're feeling introverted. We're all having our different goals here and it's okay with me if your goal is to stay home and not talk to people anymore, I support you.
What I want for you though, is just for you to have permission to live your life your way on purpose, like with the full spectrum of possibility available to you. Not just some limited possibilities about what you think should be available to you based on what your age is. And not like this terrible sense of doom because you're not where you thought you would be at the age you're at.
You may have desires, and dreams, and hopes that didn't come to be in your past, and I think you should grieve those. I also think it's a very human experience. I think we all have those, I don't think you're like uniquely fucked about that or anything. But don't get stuck in the grieving, and don't get stuck in the despair, and don't get stuck in feeling like it's all ruined. Because it's not all ruined, you have so much life left to live. Live it.
Try, see what happens, do experiments. Evaluate your progress. Make new decisions. And just like, keep going. Stay in the possibility because in the possibility anything can happen and it can all be magical and nothing is like ruined, or over, or done with until it's done. And it's not done yet. All right?
I cannot wait to see what you will do, and have, and be, and come up with when you give yourself this permission to live your life right now, in the current moment, versus like thinking about all the shit you didn't do 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 10 minutes ago.
And listen, if this kind of thinking and these kind of conversations are exactly what you're craving in your life, you should come work with me. And if you want to do that in a community and have so much fun with a group of wonderful humans once a week and build relationships there, and learn from everybody else, and have everyone else learn from you, then Satisfied As Fuck group coaching program, the January cohort could be a great fit for you. We can do a consult about it, you can sign up on my website.
And if you would rather have my brain like focused totally on you once a week and learn just from what you want to explore and not share in front of other people or translate other people's coaching for you, then one-on-one could be a really wonderful fit and you can sign up for a consult for that on my website as well.
And if you're not ready to come work with me, that's okay. Maybe find some other Love Your Job Before You Leave It podcast listeners and start a little podcast club, do some of this work on your own. You can have an extraordinary life. And it's not too late to do it because you're not dead yet.
All right, that's what I have for y'all this week. Have a lovely week and I'll talk to you next time. Bye.
Thank you for listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It. We'll have another episode for you next week. And in the meantime, if you're feeling super fired up, head on over to korilinn.com for more guidance and resources.
You are listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It, the podcast for ambitious, high-achieving women who are ready to stop feeling stressed about work and kiss burnout goodbye forever. Whether you’re starting a business or staying in your day job, this show will give you the coaching and guidance you need to start loving your work today. Here’s your host, Career Coach, Kori Linn.
Hello, hello, hello. Happy Wednesday, I’m so excited to talk to y’all. I just got off my weekly Satisfied As Fuck group coaching call and it was such a delight. I love talking to my SAFers, as I call them in my head, and coaching them, and honestly like learning. Every time I have a call with them I learn so much, and I come up with so many new and interesting ideas, many of which will become podcasts.
Also something else that has been happening in SAF that I wanted to share with y’all is I’m really into celebration. You may have noticed from listening to some of my other podcasts that that’s something that I’m really excited about, and that I think has a lot of very real and tangible benefits for your life.
So I’m always encouraging my clients in that group to celebrate, to share their wins, to share their delights. And one of my clients started posting like little videos of them doing celebratory dances. And even as I’m telling you about it I’m like over here doing a little celebratory dance. And it’s just so fun.
And I just wanted to mention that to you all because you can do that too. You can start sending little celebratory dances of yourself to your friends. You can start like a little podcast club with some other Love Your Job Before You Leave it listeners and send each other little celebratory dancing wiggles. I call them celebratory wiggles personally, but they’re like little dances, they’re like little videos.
It’s just such a fun thing to do and I get this question all the time of like what even is celebrating? How do we even celebrate? And there are lots of ways to do it and there are whole podcasts about that. But I love the idea of it being a wiggle. And even some of the other clients now in SAF are like, “I will now post my celebratory wiggle.” Or they like do their own celebratory dance while they’re watching the other client’s video of their celebratory dance.
So just something fun I wanted to share with y’all. I think so many of us are spending so much of our life like just trying to get shit done, heads down and like achieve our goals and not enough time having celebratory wiggles. And so if you get nothing else from today, like maybe get a little joyful wiggle for yourself and your life and your body.
All right, but that’s now what we’re talking about today. What we’re talking about today is the fact that you are not dead yet. Unless you’re like a fun little ghost friend listening to this podcast, you are very much alive, and you have life left in front of you. And I thought it was like kind of a fun time to talk about this because it's October, it's spooky season, it's almost Halloween. But this is actually a concept I think about a lot.
So many of my clients come to me and they're like, well, I wanted my life to be like this, but it's not and it's too late. It's really interesting, it's like a very common theme, this idea of it's too late. And I think part of that is because some of us have scripts that we've picked up from the culture about like the milestones we're supposed to achieve in life and by what ages.
But I also think there's this other thing where just like, I don't know, people in our culture, adults, are like, “Oh, I'm an adult now so it's too late to make big changes, it's too late to try new things, it's too late to learn new stuff.” It's too late to, you know, literally fill in the blank with anything here. But here's the thing, y'all, it's not too late. You have life left to live, you have time left.
Average life expectancy is quite long for most of us. And I realize that doesn't mean all of us are going to make it to that. Some people will die younger than life expectancy and some of us will live way past life expectancy. But probably you have at least some time left, and how do you want to spend that time?
What do you want to do with it? Because I read this thing once, I think it was in The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, where she said like, you're going to age either way. The thing was like, do you know how long it’ll take me to like, fill in the blank, it was like learn the piano. And her answer was like you're going to spend that time anyways, it's not like you can like bank that time that you would spend learning the piano.
You're going to be spending it anyways, you're going to be spending it living. So why not just do the thing you want to do? And this is like kind of a simple concept, so it's probably not going to be a super long podcast, except for you know me, I may get distracted and tell like 16 rambling stories and it may be a long podcast after all. But it's such an important concept.
Honestly, and I probably say this every week, but if you took nothing else away from this podcast, you could still absolutely change your life in every way just by realizing that it's not too late to make the changes you want to make and you're not dead yet. Like it's not done, it's not over, it's not too late, you have so much time.
I'm 38, I don't know how old you are. So I looked it up and this says the average life expectancy for the US in 2022 is 79.05 years. Okay, so let's just say 80. And that's going to be different based on your country, based on whatever, based on like your health history, blah, blah, blah. But let's just say you're going to live to 80. That's so many more years, right?
Even if you're much older than I am. Let's even say you were 80 and life expectancy is 80, but you're not dead yet. So what do you want to do with the time you have? And I think the subtext here is you don't have to keep doing the same stuff you've been doing.
You don't have to stay in the same job. You don't have to stay in the same field or industry. You don't have to stay in the same company. You don't have to stay in the same relationships. You don't have to stay in the same house. You don't have to eat the same thing for breakfast that you've eaten for breakfast, even if you've eaten it for breakfast your whole life.
You can change. You can be different. As long as you are alive and there is like breath in your lungs, you have freedom, and you have choice. And so I think this is interesting because I think for most people, like they know this. It's not rocket science, right? You're like, “Duh, I'm not dead yet, I can change.”
But I think most people don't actually believe that they can change. Either they don't want to put forth the energy, or they think their habits are too strong, or they think other people can change but that they can't change. I am here to tell you, you can change. It doesn't mean it'll be easy.
And if you'd rather not put forth the effort, listen, I think that's fine. But just be honest with yourself about that. Don't tell yourself it's too late, just tell yourself that's not what you want to do with the time that you have. Because you have time and you're going to do something with it. So it doesn't have to be that, but just be honest with yourself.
I think so many people are sitting around spending so much of their life that they do have saying, I wish I could be blah, blah, blah, or I wish I had done blah, blah, blah in the past. Listen, we can't change the past, not that I know of yet. Maybe science will advance so much that we can do that one day, but for right now you can't change the past, it's done.
You can't change what you did, or the habits you set up, or mistakes you made. But you have this moment, and you have a lot of other moments probably after this moment. And even if you don't have that many moments, any moments is enough moments to be different.
Actually, if you have less time, maybe it's easier to change because you don't have to keep it up for as long. That's sort of a joke, but it's also sort of not, right? I do agree that setting up a sustainable long-term change kind of takes a lot more effort because we have to build new habits and set them up and like get them running. But if we don't have that much time, sometimes it's actually easier to just be like, all right, I'm going to scrap all that and I'm going to do this new thing.
So actually, even if you have a lot of time but it's easier for you to think like, “Okay, well, if I only had six months to live, how would I live?” You can also do it that way. That's kind of a cool thought experiment to think through. And if you literally only have six months to live, you can still spend those six months being someone different than you've been for the last however many years you've been alive.
You always have choice, you always have the opportunity to do something different and to choose anew. You don't have to keep choosing all the same shit you've always been choosing. You're not dead yet. Now, unless we're really mistaken or science changes pretty extraordinarily, you probably will be dead one day. Like that seems like a pretty safe bet where we're all going to die.
I know it's not like a super fun thing to talk about and I'm just like, “We're all going to die.” But we are, and so I think that's something important to keep in mind too. We're all going to die, but you're not dead yet. What do you want to do with the time that you have here? What changes do you want to make if you were willing to believe it was possible to make them?
And listen, maybe it's not possible to make all of the changes that you want to make because it is limited, right? We can't always do everything. Even if there are many things we would like to do, sometimes we have to prioritize and we have to pick a few because we have limited capacity or limited hours or whatever.
So it's possible you want to change like all kinds of stuff and maybe you don't have time to do it all. But you're not dead yet, so you can change some stuff and you can set up your life the way you want it to be. And you can do the work you want to do, build the friendships you want to have, learn the skills you want to learn, start the hobbies you want to start.
You can try new things, even if it's scary. And listen if it is scary, I get it. I wanted to take singing lessons and so I took a singing lesson this summer. And that may not sound scary, and it was over Zoom so I didn't even have to go anywhere, I could do it right from my office. But it felt really vulnerable to sing in front of this person who is like really good at music because like that's like their whole job.
I felt so embarrassed, like I literally almost burst into tears. It reminded me so much of being a little kid, being in like elementary school. So I'm not at all trying to tell you like, “Oh, you're not dead yet. And you can do whatever you want. And it'll all feel easy, and you'll never feel like emotionally raw.”
For sure you probably will feel emotionally raw, whether you do a bunch of new interesting shit, or whether you keep doing all the shit you've been doing. Feeling emotionally raw is part of being human. And it's not my favorite, but I would actually argue that it can be a really beautiful part of the human existence.
And when I did that singing lesson, it was an interesting way to get to know myself. And I was like, “You know what, Kori, if you want to keep doing singing lessons, you can keep doing them and we'll pay for them.” I kind of treat myself like I am my own child. So that's how I talk to myself. Like, “We'll do this, we'll pay for it if you want to.”
And I was like, you know what, this felt really emotionally raw and vulnerable, and it was interesting. And I'm glad I followed the impulse and did it. And also, I don't think it's how I want to spend my time or my money. But I'm also no longer sitting around over here going like, “What if I took singing lessons?”
I'm like, “Well, I did do that. And it was interesting, and I don't want to do it anymore because I think I'd rather do some other stuff.” And I'm not even 100% sure what that other stuff is. But I can figure that out and I can try stuff. And it's okay if I'm bored sometimes. And it's okay if I'm a little sad that I'm not naturally a better singer than I am. It's all okay.
I don't own any real estate, but my girlfriend is really into real estate. And she owns the house that we live in here in Sacramento, and she owns another property, and she owned the house we lived in in Seattle. And she is like really knowledgeable in the area of real estate.
And there's this phrase in the real estate industry, which is like the best time to buy a house was 20 years ago. But the second best time to buy a house is right now, I don't know who came up with that phrase. I Googled it and it seems to be a common quote. So if you know who said it first, you can let me know. But I think it's pretty much just like a common thing that people say.
And I think the same is applicable for a lot of the stuff that we might want to do but we might not be doing, but since we're not dead yet we could totally start doing. And it's like, yeah, it might be true that you wish you had learned to play guitar 20 years ago. It might be true that you wish you had changed careers 20 years ago. It might be true that, just like the little phrase, you wish you had bought real estate 20 years ago.
It might be true that you wish you learned to roller skate when you were a kid and sort of like elastic and bouncy. I roller bladed in the last few years, and it felt much harder than it did when I was a kid, for sure. That being said, I could still keep doing it if I wanted to. And even though I don't bounce, I probably didn't actually bounce as a small child. And probably falling down then hurt just as much as it does now, and I just remember it differently.
Anyways, the point is, it may be true that you'd be better at something if you had started 20 years ago. But if you didn't start 20 years ago, kind of like focusing on that is not going to help you get to starting it now, right? And if the best time to start was 20 years ago, just like the other phrase, the second best time is now.
And also the only time you can start is either now or in the future. So if you want to have already started and be good at something but you haven't started it, like you got to start it to get that process going.
I think for a lot of us, kind of like me and that singing lesson, it can feel really vulnerable to start something. And if we're like, you know, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, right, and even if we're 28, starting something new may feel really vulnerable because I do think we have sort of cultural messaging that trying new shit is for kids and when you're an adult you're supposed to have it all together.
But I just think that's bullshit. And I think it takes most of us so long to get to know ourselves and figure out what we even like that of course we're trying new shit in our adulthood. Also, we have to unlearn all the socialization, all that bullshit. So of course we have to do that and then we're going to be maybe a little older before we try stuff.
Also, we're just not dead yet, right? Like to go back to my original point. So why should we be done learning? Why should we be done playing? Why should we be done trying new things? You have so much life left to live, why not live it? Seriously, why not go out and live it? Or stay in and live it if you're feeling introverted. We're all having our different goals here and it's okay with me if your goal is to stay home and not talk to people anymore, I support you.
What I want for you though, is just for you to have permission to live your life your way on purpose, like with the full spectrum of possibility available to you. Not just some limited possibilities about what you think should be available to you based on what your age is. And not like this terrible sense of doom because you're not where you thought you would be at the age you're at.
You may have desires, and dreams, and hopes that didn't come to be in your past, and I think you should grieve those. I also think it's a very human experience. I think we all have those, I don't think you're like uniquely fucked about that or anything. But don't get stuck in the grieving, and don't get stuck in the despair, and don't get stuck in feeling like it's all ruined. Because it's not all ruined, you have so much life left to live. Live it.
Try, see what happens, do experiments. Evaluate your progress. Make new decisions. And just like, keep going. Stay in the possibility because in the possibility anything can happen and it can all be magical and nothing is like ruined, or over, or done with until it's done. And it's not done yet. All right?
I cannot wait to see what you will do, and have, and be, and come up with when you give yourself this permission to live your life right now, in the current moment, versus like thinking about all the shit you didn't do 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 10 minutes ago.
And listen, if this kind of thinking and these kind of conversations are exactly what you're craving in your life, you should come work with me. And if you want to do that in a community and have so much fun with a group of wonderful humans once a week and build relationships there, and learn from everybody else, and have everyone else learn from you, then Satisfied As Fuck group coaching program, the January cohort could be a great fit for you. We can do a consult about it, you can sign up on my website.
And if you would rather have my brain like focused totally on you once a week and learn just from what you want to explore and not share in front of other people or translate other people's coaching for you, then one-on-one could be a really wonderful fit and you can sign up for a consult for that on my website as well.
And if you're not ready to come work with me, that's okay. Maybe find some other Love Your Job Before You Leave It podcast listeners and start a little podcast club, do some of this work on your own. You can have an extraordinary life. And it's not too late to do it because you're not dead yet.
All right, that's what I have for y'all this week. Have a lovely week and I'll talk to you next time. Bye.
Thank you for listening to Love Your Job Before You Leave It. We'll have another episode for you next week. And in the meantime, if you're feeling super fired up, head on over to korilinn.com for more guidance and resources.
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